Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Devil in UNILORIN.


Story By Akin Omo Akin

Every Student of Unilorin can attest to this piece, it doesn't matter whether we believe in God or not, we all believed in devil existence. In Unilorin we see's the devil everyday. He comes to bank road as Earlier as 6am,even when the bank officials themselves are still on bed, multiply himself into 100 and something people in every banks ATM, he devil himself and other co-worker takes the GTB's. With the sole aim of frustrating your beautiful morning. If you think I'm joking walk up to some of them and inquire about their mission,they be like 

"Baba na card I come buy oo" 
"Na balance I come check oo"

Does that makes any sense,by any form of rationality that someone didn't go home and wakes up the following morning to que in the ATM just to buy recharge card or even check balance ? Believe me it's the Devil thing.

You wake up as Earlier as 5am, hasten to the school terminus, just to get to sch on time and secure a comfy space for yourself ahead of the day lesson only to get to SCH with a crowd filled lecture theatre even as Earlier as 6am like wtf? You're all up on yourself, biting your instinct and asking yourself whether the crowd didn't even go home at all? You take a walk to survey a space for yourself and you finally secure an empty one, and just when you're about to sit the devil speaks again "pls somebody is there" like you gotta be kidding me? Try sitting down, you'll hear the story of Jesus and marry
They'll tell you how they didn't go home the previous day only to sleep in school and wake up this morning to keep space for their distance relative who will be admitted into the university by 2018. And you think it's normal? 

The Devil abduct your HOD the moment you need him most,on a random day you'll see him around the department walking about with his laptop just to clear some student but when you need him most, probably you need a signature on a certain important document before the lapse date you'll hear that he has an appointment with "Ban ki moon"of the united nation and he probably won't return till the Biafra gets independence. ? Oh seriously? 

Can you recall that scene where a month old cadet fresher threatened to wipe a final year students some stroke of cane because he refused to join the que? A fresher who was still in jss1 when the person he threatens turned an undergraduate? Why because literally Unilorin is a primary sch as it is primarily called by the public, on reasonable sense with logical reasoning and establishable fact how would a month old fresher speak shit to someone old enough to be his/her bro?  If not acting under influence of no matter what we just gonna talk it up ,he dare not touch  me unless he's tired of his business here or doesn't want to graduate. 
You think that is normal too? 

If i continue to type all these devilish effect in Unilorin you'll get stuck on this page reading a lot of wretched and substandard long note but there's one popular one that awes me the most 

Getting laid 
Getting laid by a male student of Unilorin is more like embarking on a journey to Antarctica(last place on earth ) very difficult. Normally the devil metamorphose into a girl that tell you No two weeks before you ask her out and this time the devil finally get busy and distracted working tirelessly on other things on campus. so she finally agrees to go out with you, after 3 dates at Item 7, two Dates at Pepsi, and 2000 naira suya at Student Affairs, she finally agrees to come visit you. This is where the devil comes back in Full drive 

On the first day, you wait on her like a Married man waiting on his woman in a labour , you go inside come back outside,check your wrist watch check the weather to see if it's late and you didn't see any slight glimpse of someone who looks like the girl you're expecting, the day went off, and she didn't even have the courtesy to call you and explain, you called her to ask why and she gave  you a pretty dumb excuse like 

"Sorry I slept off in the afternoon and I woke up late in the eve I couldn't make it to your place"

You're horn-mad and infuriated but because you want to *fuck* you swallowed your spit and rescheduled another meeting not knowing that the devil has your destiny flooring down his hand and he's busy smiling at you 

The second time she's much interested in coming and she has already called to confirm if you're home or not, you're happy that this time God has seen to your issue then the devil enters into your lecturer  and ask him to announce emergency test, you're busy staring at the group chat where the message was broadcasted and you called you class rep and confirmed it to be real, the devil comes down to your heart and you started thinking if you should go for the test or you shouldn't ,you don't want to fail and you finally chose the test over the girl.


She came as promised but you're on hotseat the test you'll probably fail because you ain't thinking straight all you got on your mind is how sweet it'd have been if you could see what the color of her underwear looks like, she was very angry  swore never to visit you again, after much persuasion and serious begging she finally decide to visit you, you pick a date And waited patiently on that day to come


You waited on her, morning afternoon,and evening she didn't show up and then your friends and lodge mate are all in your room playing games and seeing movies. Even that guy that has never visited you was with you as well, then she finally arrived and your friends started leaving the room one after the other, the one last idiot was still in there, he didn't stand up it doesn't even seem like he'd in a hour to come, he started a conversation with your supposed girl and the girl was enjoying his company, after alotta pinch, winks and body language he finally decided to stand up and leave, he left and when you're about to start foreplay the devil enters the NEPA and they took the light off.

she started nagging about heat and ask you to leave the door open? Will you probably start courting a girl when the door is wide open? Devil get distracted again and then God answered your prayer the light came back on ,you both started kissing each other, deeply and passionately and when you think she's horny enough to get you started The devil enter into tomi head, one of your lodge mate, she's on your door step, knocking continuously just to collect matches , you didn't want to answer but she didn't stop the girl asked you to go answer her and you came back and pull off your trouser just when you're about to slide through her honeypot she requested for condom, of course you have it under your pillow, you raised it up and you found nothing then you remember giving the last one to bade.

You stand up again and went to evelyn room,the popular girl who is found of home matches, she's has never beingshort of condom only to see that the flippant girl has gone for night class for the first time in her life. You go back into your room and the girl is fully dressed and ready to leave, because it was like 10minutes ago when you check the time and it was 7:11 and now its 10:05 
She left and that's how the devil fuck you down

And you have to restart the same stuff with a new girl entirely 

That is how devil keeps fucking you up over and over. 

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